Tag Archives: boy

To the one who made me smile :)

This past weekend was my cousins wedding and if you anything about Indian weddings, you know they can get very loud and very chaotic! Aunties giving you the side eye, Bibi’s listing your flaws, Uncles getting drunk, Kids running around…oh how I love it πŸ™‚indian-wedding-dance-floor

Anyways in the middle of the weeding weekend my mom tells me she gave my number to a boy and he would be texting me. All I could think was FUUUUUCCCKKKKK!!!! No no no !!!! Ughhh not again. Probably another psycho concerned about my fiber intake or how many times I blink per minute (yes Β that has happened before).

On the wedding day, while sitting in the the temple waiting for the ceremony to start I get a text from Jay. He said hi and right away I apologized that I was busy and said I would text him when I had time. Β He said fine, no worries. The next day I texted to tell him sorry I was going to the reception and would text him later. He responded with a cute flirty response. That’s the first time I Smiled.

The next day I texted him good morning and said I was packing up and heading back to my place that day and would finally have time to talk to him. He responded. That’s the second time I Smiled.

While making the 2 hour treacherous drive back to my place, Jay called. For the next two hours we talked. I parked my car and we talked. I grabbed my bags and took them in and we continued to talk.

Shit, could I possibly like this guy?

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The next few days we talked, we texted we snap chatted. After such a long time it was so refreshing to finally talk to a man so comfortable in his own skin. A man who wasn’t afraid to say what he wanted from life and had opinions to share. Jay made me laugh, Jay made me feel special.

Fast forward to today and I think I really really like him πŸ™‚ If nothing becomes of this I think I will be okay, because Jay made me smile. In a time where I was loosing hope, where I was beginning to feel that love had given up on me, Jay pulled me out of the shadows and showed me that hey, don’t give up just yet.

So where do we go from here? I don’t know. But all I do know, thank you Jay πŸ™‚ You made my heart beat just a little faster, you made me look forward to getting texts from a boy, but more than anything, thank you, because ….

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My First Time

It was quick, it was painless and by the end of it I was an emotional wreck. I knew the day had to come someday, but damn, I wasn’t ready. No I’m not talking about loosing my virginity, (although that’s another taboo topic that I might address someday), but rather my first step into the magical world of an arranged marriage.pre-arranged-marriages-pre-pair-people-for-the-future_o_2607971

It all started with a chance encounter at the guardwara. A friend of a friend reached out to my dad and said hey, we have a boy whose of marriage age and you have a daughter who obviously needs to get married ASAP (I was 24 at the time) so here’s his email address and get them married. When questioned about what the guy did, the friend responded that “J” was a dentist and came from a nice family in England. My parents, a little freaked out but excited and blinded by the fact that anyone was showing any interest in me and that I had hit the jackpot by landing a dentist on my first try, immediately emailed “J.” A few days later, JR responded and included with his email was his picture.

(Oh THE picture. If the guy sent one obviously I would have to send one back. The dreaded moment that I would soon learn to despise. The feeling of uncertainty, the total shattering of whatever little self esteem I had, the utter disgust and nauseating feeling of being judged based on THAT single picture. )

Now my mom being a typical Indian mom whose is very vain immediately rejected the boy. When asked why, she came up with a list of stupid reasons, all of which I disagreed with. “He’s too skinny, I don’t like his nose, his eyes are too small, he’s not smiling…the list went on and on.

Angry and annoyed that she would say such mean things about someone she didn’t even know, I Β lashed out. That was the first fight of many that we would have over the years. Our fight went on for days and in that whole jumbled mess of emotions, J was soon forgotten about, only to be mentioned in passing or at the guardwara when my dad would spot the friend and whisper to my mom “There’s J’s relative” and they would both bee line to the langar hall or run away to the car in attempt to hide from the man.

After about two years and 40 some guys later, I thought I had forgotten about J. I thought he would be nothing but a distant memory, but boy was I wrong….SO SO WRONG πŸ™‚

I would soon learn that this simple little dentist from a good family was nothing but a freak with a fetish for big boobs and a tight ass….more on that later……

~r~ xoxoxo

The Present, The Now

I’m 28, unmarried, single with no prospects in sight and just the absolute bane of my mothers existence right now πŸ™‚ Forget that I’m happy, have a great career, am independent and have a great set of friends. As a modern day working Punjabi woman in the US, getting married still seems to elude me and as we all know an unmarried Indian girl? Hai Hai Hai…..something must be wrong!

My poor mother has PRAYED….hard, gone to a pandit (three times, I think he intentionally doesn’t pick up her phone calls anymore), put out ads , did some voodoo, hit up all members of her secret bibi club at the guardwara, begged relatives, stalked boys at parties and gone to every social event within a 100 mile radius but alas, her poor unfortunate daughter still remains unwed…..bachari.

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So why start this blog? Why out my dukhi ma? πŸ™‚

As I venture off shortly into the last year of my twenties, I felt I needed to leave all my excess, bull crap, good for nothing baggage behind. The biggest baggage being my mothers need for me to get married to a proper Punjabi boy, preferably a doctor or engineer from a good family (Sounds a little familiar doesn’t it πŸ™‚ )

After years of searching, countless nights spent crying and feeling like an absolute piece of shit that no one wanted to love, I finally came to terms with myself and said F*** this shit, I’m going to live! So, this blog is my manifesto to the world, that hey….with or without a proper punjabi boy, this girls gonna live her life πŸ™‚

Thanks for reading!

~r~ xoxox